2-3 Years in Advance
- Set the Bat/Bar Mitzvah Date
- Think about the type of celebration and theme the bat/bar mitzvah would like to have
- Once you have the date, it’s never too early to research venues or reserve the synagogue banquet hall for the reception
18 Months in Advance
- Begin thinking about potential Mitzvah Projects
- Meet with the Rabbi or Cantor to understand the bat/bar-mitzvah process and answer any questions you may have
- Determine a budget to keep track of expenses. Decide what matters the most to you and your family (venue, food, music, entertainment, decor, favors, etc.)
- Begin to work on a guest list. It may be helpful to separate the list into 'Must-Haves' and 'Nice-to-Haves'
- Determine what other events your family will host (Shabbat dinner, Shabbat Kiddush, Sunday Brunch)
1 Year in Advance
- Discuss the bat/bar mitzvah requirements with the Rabbi, including the timeline for completing the mitzvah project
- Send/Email out a Save The Date (helpful for out of town guests to think ahead for dates and times)
- Reserve a block of rooms at a hotel for out of town guests
- Reserve a venue for the reception
- Pick a theme for the reception and begin to think about decorations/decorator
- Book your caterer
- Book the entertainment/music vendors
- Book the photographer and videographer
9 Months in Advance
- Select a Mitzvah Project
- Decide what enclosures need to be included with each guest invitation (maps, party card, response cards)
- Order invitations and thank you cards
- Book the photographer and videographer
- Meet with decorator/florist
6 Months in Advance
- Start Mitzvah Project
- Finalize the guest list and enter then addresses into a spreadsheet (make sure all addresses are current)
- Order any items that require customization, including kippot, party favors, sign-in boards
- Purchase Tallit and Tefillin, if necessary
4 Months in Advance
- Shop for clothes and shoes (don’t do any tailoring)
3 Months in Advance
- Finalize the guest list for all events your family is hosting
- Address the envelopes, or have a calligrapher address them
- Go to the post office to have the complete invitation weighed and purchase the appropriate stamps
- Plan the menu for the reception
- Arrange for the rental of party supplies not supplied (chairs, dishes, etc)
2 Months in Advance
- Mail invitations. Be sure to check the weather report to avoid rainy days
- Select who to honor with aaliyot and get their Hebrew names
- Parents should work on parents’ speech or blessing
- Finalize centerpieces (including flowers for the synagogue service), décor, and favors
- Finalize the entertainment for the party
- Make a draft of the seating chart
- Make hair appointments for family
- Work on the ceremony programs
- Begin ordering supplies and compiling local information for gift baskets for out of town guests
- Compose candle lighting introductions or poems
- Arrange for Transportation of family and/or guests, if necessary
1 Month in Advance
- Meet with the DJ and entertainers to pick songs and games
- Arrange for a rehearsal in the synagogue sanctuary
- Confirm party timeline and schedule with all vendors, including photographer, videographer, music/entertainments, and caterer
- Purchase any items not provided by the caterer (liquor, challah, cake,etc)
- Finalize aaliyah list and give a copy to the rabbi or cantor
3 Weeks in Advance
- Visit the tailor
- Make up toiletry baskets for the bathrooms
- Finalize ceremony programs, print and assemble
2 Weeks in Advance
- Confirm final headcounts
- Finalize seating chart, and write place cards (wait to fill in the table numbers until closer to the event if possible)
- Compose candle lighting introductions or poems
1 Week in Advance
- Drop off welcome baskets at hotel
- Have a rehearsal at the synagogue
- Contact all event vendors for last minute details or questions
- Confirm all details are in place (food, decorations) for other events being hosted (Shabbat dinner, Kiddush, etc)
Bat/Bar-Mitzvah Day
- Relax and enjoy the day!
Post Event
- Write and mail thank you cards
- BREATHE!